Movie Night
by cherrycoloredlilies
Summary: The Cullens and Bella watch a movie. Rated M for language and some content, no lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, I went to a show with a friend of mine, and this story idea popped into my head. I'm not going to put in all of the participation lines, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or RHPS. ******

BPOV

"Hello everybody!" I called as I let myself into the Cullen's house. I was still vaguely uncomfortable doing so, but they had insisted so many times that I finally caved.

"Hello Bella, dear," Esme said from the living room. I walked in to see her and my mouth dropped open. Esme was always beautiful, but tonight she was dressed to kill in a long silk dress in a lovely shade of pale green. Her hair was twisted up with a few curls cascading down her neck and shoulders.

"Wow, Esme, you look fantastic!" I said. She smiled at me.

"Thank you dear. Carlisle and I are going dancing tonight."

Now I was confused. Every Wednesday night the eight of us (meaning the seven Cullens and me) stayed in and watched movies together. It was something we all looked forward too.

"You're not staying for the movie?" I asked.

Esme laughed lightly. "No. There are some things I'd rather not see my children do."

What did _that_ mean? Before I could ask Carlisle appeared, looking gorgeous in a black suit. It always made me a little uncomfortable that my fiancé's father was so hot.

"Hello Bella" he greeted me, then looked at his wife, "are you ready to go?"

"Yes." They walked to the door. Just before it closed behind them Carlisle looked over his shoulder at me, "Good luck tonight." He said.

Alright, now I was getting nervous. What on earth did they have planned? And by they I meant Emmett and Alice. "Edward." I said quietly, knowing he would hear. I had barely finished speaking his name and he was there.

"Yes love?"

I stared at him for a moment, lost in his beauty. I don't think I would ever get used to the fact that he was mine.

"Bella?" he said. I shook myself out of my daze.

"What are we watching tonight?" I asked.

He frowned, "I don't know. They're blocking me."

I frowned right along with him. That certainly didn't bode well. Before I could comment, Alice skipped into the room. She was wrapped in a fluffy, pink bathrobe that covered her from neck to toe. "Hi Bella!" she exclaimed.

"Hi Alice," I said cautiously, "Nice outfit." She giggled.

"Just wait." She said mysteriously. Maybe I should just go home.

The three of us went to the living room, Alice skipping over the television and popping in tonight's movie.

"So, Alice, what are we watching?" I tried to sound casual.

"Patience Bella," Rosalie said from behind me. She too was dressed in a bathrobe, this one bright red. Jasper was right behind her, dressed in black slacks and a jacket, his white shirt was unbuttoned to halfway down his chest.

"Yay!" Alice exclaimed, "Let's start the movie!"

"Where's Emmett?" I asked.

"He'll be down in a bit, he's busy." Rosalie answered me.

Huh, maybe it wouldn't be so bad, if Emmett wasn't here.

Oh how wrong I was.

The movie started with a mouth, painted bright red, singing an odd song about a science fiction double feature. I was lying against Edward's chest and I felt his groan before it even made it past his lips. "Alice, seriously?" he said. Alice smiled at him brightly.

"Bella's never seen this movie, and _everybody_ should watch it at least once." She told him.

Edward sighed, "At least you didn't drag us to the live show."

Alice winked at him.

The lips were gone from the screen, the scene changed to the end of a wedding. Then some very cheesily dressed people began to sing to each other. While they were singing Alice, Jasper 

and Rosalie began yelling things at the screen. Every time the gut showed up on the screen they yelled "ASSHOLE!" every time the girl showed up they yelled "SLUT!" They yelled other things too, like "Damn it, Janet, let's go screw!" and "Say it asshole!" along with things like "Play with yourself asshole," and "Asshole shuffle". Then the song ended and an old man came on the screen, at which point Alice yelled, "Where's your fucking neck!" I'd never heard Alice swear before, and my already red face turned an even deeper shade. I was barely paying attention to the movie, I was so absorbed in watching my future siblings interact with the television. When I looked back at the screen, after an enthusiastic "There's cum on the windshield!" from Jasper, I saw the cheesy couple, Brad and Janet, getting out of their car in the middle of a rain storm. They started singing about a light while the three crazy vampires in the living room continued to yell at the tv. The couple made it to the "Frankenstein place" and the door was opened by a rather shady looking butler with stringy blond hair and a hump on his back. Apparently his name was Riff Raff, since that's the name that was currently being yelled at the screen. He let them in, another character entered by sliding down the banister, and Riff Raff started to sing. That, however, was not what caught my attention. Alice, Rosalie and Jasper all stood up, Alice and Rosalie throwing off their robes. My eyes almost fell out of my head. Alice was dressed in a sexy maid outfit; Rosalie was in sparkly short-shorts and a silver tube top. Then they began to dance with the song.

"**It's just a jump to the left"** they jumped. "**Then a step to the right"** they stepped **"Put your hands on your hips"** "Or somebody else's!" They yelled as they each grabbed on to the hips of the person in front of them. **"You bring you knees in tight!" **Okay, that looked really odd. **"Now do the pelvic thrust" **Oh my God. I think at this point my face is going to be permanently red. I buried my face in Edward's chest, not wanting to watch this any longer. I didn't mind the movie, but the live action was a little much. I heard the song end and some more dialogue. Then a new voice on screen, and a familiar voice behind me said, "How do you do I see you met my faithful handyman" Edward and I both looked over our shoulder's at Emmett. Edward choked, and I felt my eyes bug wide and my mouth fall open.

Oh.My.God.

**So, what movie is it? And who is Emmett dressed as? If you've seen the movie, then you know. It totally had to be Emmett. Hee.**

**Riff Raff**

(DO THE TIME**.** It's astounding, time is fleeting. Madness, , but listen

**Magenta**

Not for very much longer.

**Transylvanians**

Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!

**Transylvanians**

And then a step to the right.

**Criminologist**

With your hands on

**Transylvanians**

You bring your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!


	2. Sweet Transvestite

**A/N: Okay, here's the second chapter. I'm sorry about the delay between updates, I don't have access to a computer everyday. I promise to update as often as possible. **

**A few things you should know about this chapter, words written in **_**bold italics **_**are the song lyrics from the movie, words written in (bold parenthesis) are what J, A and R are yelling at the screen and words written** regularly **are the story. K?**

**Thanks so much to everyone that's reviewed, you guys completely rock!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or RHPS. Sniff.**

Chapter Two: Sweet Transvestite

I couldn't tear my eyes away from Emmett. It was like a train wreck, you want to look away but you simply can't. He strutted proudly into the room on white, sparkly platform heels. He was covered neck to ankle in a shimmering cape and his face was done up elaborately, black shadow on his eyes and dark red lipstick on his mouth. He sang along with movie, strutting his stuff for all he was worth, while his three accomplices continued to shout at the screen.

_**How do you do, I see you've met my faithful,**_**(HAND JOB MAN!)**_** handy man. He's just a little brought down because when you knocked he thought you were the Candy Man. Don't get strung out **_**(ON COCAINE!) **_**by the way I look,**_**(SAME THING)**_** don't judge a book by it's cover. I'm not much of a man by the light of day, but by night I'm one **_**(SICK MOTHER FUCKER)**_** hell of a lover.**_

Emmett whipped off his cape and I swear felt my eyes fall out of my head, I know my jaw dropped to the floor. He was wearing a black corset, black speedo-like underwear and fish net thigh highs. The words "Oh My God" went round and round in my head as I watched him continue to sing and strut. He was obviously having a ball.

_**I'm just a sweet Transvestite, from Transsexual, Transylvania. Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound. You look like you're both pretty groovy. Or if you want something visual, that's not too abysmal, we could take in an old **_**(KEANU)**_** Steve Reeves movie.**_

I turned around to look at Edward, but he wasn't looking at me or at Emmett for that matter. He had his eyes tightly closed, and he was pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger the way he did when he was upset. Not that I could blame him. Seeing Emmett dressed this way was a fairly traumatic experience. I don't think I'll ever be the same.

_**Well you got caught with a flat well, how 'bout that? Well babies, don't you panic. By the light of the night, it'll all seem all right. I'll get you a satanic mechanic. I'm just a sweet Transvestite, from Transsexual, Transylvania.**_

Now he plopped down in a chair and the other three surrounded him.

_**Why don't you stay for the night? –Night!- Or maybe a bite? –Bite!- I could show you my favorite obsession.**_**(SEX!)**_** I've been making a man,**_**(WHAT'S HE LOOK LIKE?)**_** with blond hair and a tan, and he's good for relieving my**_**(HARD ON!)**_** tension. **_

Oh my dear Lord. What kind of movie was this?

_**I'm just a sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania. Hit it!**_

Emmett stood, slapping himself on the ass, and resumed his previous strutting.

_**I'm just a**_** (DIESEL LOCOMOTIVE, WOOO! WOOO!) **_** sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania!**_** (WHAT DO YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?) **_** So! Come up to the lap, and see what's on the slab. I see you shiver with antici.**_**(SAY IT! CONSTI).**_**.pation. But maybe the rain is really to blame, so I'll remove the cause,**_**(WHAT ABOUT THE SYMPTOM?) **_** but not the symptom!**_

With that, Emmett left the room. Unable to hold it in any more Alice, Jasper and Rosalie collapsed on the floor in helpless fits of laughter.

"Oh Bella!" Alice gasped, "You should see your face!"

I glared at her. "What the hell are we watching Alice?" I demanded.

"Only the most fabulous movie ever created," Rosalie said. I looked at her blankly.

"Rocky Horror Picture Show!" all three shouted happily at me.


End file.
